pinsomalley (pinsomalley) wrote,

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Cocaine and Porn do not mix!

I just got done with my first two days off in a row in Baltimore and I really didn't do too too much but it's quality not quantity.

One of the drivers that lives a few blocks away from me gave me a ride home so considering I got back pretty early I decided to walk up to the Avenue. The Avenue is like the Main Street of Hampden. It's a pretty damn cool place with a ton of cool little shops, cafes and restaurants. I decided to take a walk up and see if there was anyplace up there to get breakfast. I ended up at a place called the Golden West Cafe which I believe is a tex mex type place that looks like it is run by some hippies. I got some sort of huevos followed by a mexican word type stuff that I think may have been enjoyed by someone but it wasn't enjoyed by me. First of all when they said fried corn cakes I was expecting some sort of corn bread type thing but it was actually a corn cake made with real corn. The only reason this was dissapointing is that corn bread would have been nice to offset just how damn spicy the chili was. So yeah this whole dish was "fried eggs" (does this mean sunny side up? I am not sure because the eggs were covered with so much other shit), chili, salsa, jack cheese, and those damn corn cakes. Everything was overpowered by how hot the chili was. I did not enjoy this at all and ended up just eating half of it and leaving. I am willing to give them another chance though and get something a little more traditional as the only problem I had with what I got was how hot it was. The portions were huge and it was pretty creative.
I then hopped on the Hampden Shuttle Bug which is a bus that just loops around my neighborhood. I went up to the Rotunda "Mall" which is just some stores in the basement of an old school. They did have a Radio Shack however so I picked up some AV cables so I can have some music in my room and a cheapo DVD player so I can have some movies in my room.
I did that and walked the five blocks home turned on my AC and promptly fell the fuck asleep. I woke up around 7 at started unpacking some shit and straightening some stuff out. My roommate came home and we got my box spring up into the room. I have now after 32 years finally gotten myself a big boy bed and it couldn't have come at a worse time as the stairway in my oh so narrow row house won't let that box spring up. It says no way. So we had to get creative and hoist that shit up through my front window. Good stuff.
Rich went to a show up in Towson and I fell asleep again. I woke up at 11 went down to the Paper Moon to get dinner and then checked out our neighborhood bar for the first time. Dizzy Issie's is a cool enough place. The jukebox kinda sucks though. Any jukebox that has any "Now That's What I Call Music" on it can blow up as far as I am concerned. However it does have $1.50 Yuengling pints and while I am not a big beer drinker you really cannot argue with that. So Rich ends up showing up after the show and we have a couple more and decide to go to this place up on the Avenue called Frasier's that neither of us had ever been to. He goes to use the bathroom and I go outside. Right as I get outside, as if by magic, I have one of the most surreal experiences of my life. It went something like this.
This guy come walking around the corner, about 6'1" skinny, balding, maybe early 40s. He comes right up to me and asks,

Bald Cokehead: Do they play any Gwen Stefani in there?
Gabe: I didn't hear any.
Cokey McCokester: Yeah, I like her alot, you?
Gabe: No not really.
Flakes McGhee: You like Led Zeppelin?
Gabe: Yeah I like Led Zeppelin.
Rails McDoogle: I have seen them like four times man. Bonham was the man. 20 year later and they still can't replace him. That music got to me man. It was like a big throbbing clit. You like porn?

This balding hipster cokehead then proceeded to go on a 15 minute (literally, try standing there listening to some coked out insano ramble about porn for fifteen minutes, funny part is it only got annoying in the last five minutes) tirade about porn. How he was addicted to it, how the girls in the industry feel about it, how they get into it, who killed themselves, how awesome Ron Jeremy's dick is. Oh yeah, it was ridiculous. We did make it to Frasiers and I will save a later entry for that because ladies and gemtleman I have found my Baltimore bar.

That was Saturday night.

Sunday I got up and walked over to Charles Village to pick up the new Smog because they were playing over at Otto Bar that night which made me happy because I love me some Smog. Otto Bar is a pretty cool place. A two floor venue with the club room downstairs where the bands play and a bar type room upstairs where they have DJ's and such. I didn't get to check out the upstairs but the downstairs was pretty cool. Jim White of the Dirty Three is currently playing drums for Smog and he may be one of the best live drummers I have ever seen. As manic as Keith Moon but in total control the whole time. Super tight. Feathers, a band from Burlington VT with all sorts of crazy instrumentation also played as well as another band I did not catch the name of that reminded me of a cross between The Fall and Devo so you can imagine that I like them lots.

So yes, a good time was had by all this weekend. Next weekend I will get Derek Ring drunk and push him into Chesepeake Bay. Stay tuned for more info.
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